Just when I gave up, it happened. My period is pretty predictable. The entire cycle is about 28 days; I feel my egg drop around day 10, in week 3 I'm viciously hungry and a little grouchy, and in the days just before I start, my boobs may get a little sore, my right underarm sometimes gets sore and I get a random warning cramp here or there. Everything happened exactly like that, except the boob soreness was amplified x 100. I couldn't even let a shirt touch me without being in pain. And that's when I thought "could it be possible?" My friend Kristen, who in my mind is the ultimate baby maker (I'll explain why later), has told me that she always knew she was pregnant because of how her boobs felt. I didn't want to be excited, I didn't want to take a test right away so I waited.....5 long days. No period. I picked up a double pack of Walgreen's pregnancy tests on my way in to work (because one isn't ever enough to prove or disprove the most important thing of your life). I got to work, peed on the stick and it immediately read POSITIVE. It turned positive so fast, almost to say "you are SOOOO pregnant". I had a smile for 2 seconds on my face and then practical side of my brain kicked in. It could be false, wait til the morning and take it again. My Mom just happened to be at dance that night, taking my sisters to practice and I shared the news with her. But just as I shut my own joy down, I quickly squashed hers with my suspicions that perhaps it was wrong. I taught my classes, went home and showed my husband the stick who replied "What does that mean?" I was quick to say, it means I'm pregnant but I wasn't sure if it was 100% accurate so not to get excited. He agreed.
I woke up the next morning and quickly peed on the stick. Immediate positive again. Well shit, statistically that has to be accurate and...my boobs! Those things were out of control. My husband and I did a little happy dance and went on about our day. I shared my thoughts with him about not sharing this news with anyone other than our very closest family and the people who "need to know", my boss, his mom, my parents, his best friend (for moral support) and Mandy (who we fondly call our Shaman. She is our massage therapist, Reiki master and guru for everything health.... and my close friend). Why didn't I tell you though? Well because this doesn't seem quite real yet. I won't get to see my doctor until February 18th (a month away) and I have no idea if my child is really alive and growing in there. The chance of miscarrying is higher during the first 13 weeks of pregnancy. I can't even imagine the pain, both physically and mentally, of losing a child. On top of that pain you have to announce to everyone you just told about your bundle of joy that it is no longer there. And what about those people you don't see on a weekly basis? The ones that casually see you in a restaurant and asks about your pregnancy a few weeks or a month after you lost it? Reliving that over and over has to be a nightmare. We waited to tell you to save face.
So now that you know, I am writing this in my 6th week . I wanted to record my journey and share the symptoms so as not to forget! Nausea has been prevalent for the past two weeks, but I am thankful that I haven't been puking. The only food aversion I have had so far is cereal. My shins randomly itch like there is 50 mosquito bites on them and of course I'm peeing every 5 minutes. I am tired and my belly is growing... though it could be bloating according to all the crazy information about pregnancy out there. My husband has been ultra nice about me resting and taking it easy, even though I don't feel pregnant some days. This past weekend I experienced shortness of breath while teaching my more advanced kids. WTH!? So I have to get creative with what I'm teaching and not go so "full out" anymore. Other than that, I'm happy and my husband is excited and we are bursting at the seams to share this with everyone we love!
xo
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