Week 38

       A perpetual state of uncomfortableness- that sums it up. All basic actions of life usually have to be performed with modifications. Sleeping (if there is any) must be done so in segments; Fall asleep sitting up, wake up and pee, switch positions, rinse and repeat 4 more times. Eating must happen in small portions because there is just no more room in there for both a meal and a baby. Walking is done in moderation because the pressure in my pelvis is just too much to handle. Sitting down for more than 5 minutes requires a new position every 5-10 minutes. And everywhere I go, I need my Tervis full of ice cold water. I think I might drink the equivalent of a swimming pool daily, which means I'm visiting the bathroom that often as well.  This pregnancy has been quite the experience, but it's time for it to be over.

       This week I had the privilege of putting life in perspective. I was driving home from work on Friday and was about 2-3 miles from our exit on the interstate when traffic began to slow and in a matter of minutes dozens of emergency vehicles were passing by in the emergency lanes. I knew it had to be very bad after seeing EMS Supervisors, 3 fire trucks and countless police fly past me. I could see people in my rear view getting out of their cars, trying to catch a glimpse of what happened, talking on their phones angrily because they were stuck. Eventually they closed the interstate and turned us all around to detour back to the last exit. I thought to myself, "it would really suck if I went into labor right now" And after driving for 2 1/2 hours on a trip that is typically 25 minutes, I made it home to my husband. I still had my life, while someone else did not. Even if I went into labor, I'd still be alive- I would have been taken to the hospital by one of the many emergency vehicles rerouting traffic and I would have been fine. Sure my bladder was really full, but I made it back just fine.  On my way to work there was another fatality accident  where again I was thankful for my life. I sure will pray for those families that lost their  loved ones.

     And finally- My last doctor's appointment was today. I'm still 2cm dilated, she is still head down. I felt minor disappointment today knowing that those painful "contractions" did nothing to my cervix (well maybe it thinned out...but whatever!) However, the end is in sight. My doctor has scheduled me to be induced on September 2nd. He asked me last week if I would want that and I said I would consider. My doctor would be the one to deliver the baby, and I could have the epidural at anytime (he said that...that won me over). I debated even writing this because I know there are so many people out there that have their opinions about getting induced and the baby will come out when ready- but this is my body and my daughter's birth - I get to choose. You are more than welcome to share your opinion or voice your concerns but she has 7 days to vacate the premises or she is getting evicted.
xo-JV

36 weeks and Reality

Reality is sometimes a hard thing for people to digest. They often times turn a blind eye to the truth or maintain this picture of what "it" is going to be like. Whatever "it" is, I often times like to know the ins and outs of "it", what "it" could possibly be like even though the experience may vary from person to person or through time and space. I want all the scientific knowledge laid out in front of me. That has been my approach with many things in my life, and my "it"; Pregnancy. For me knowledge is power. The power to prepare my mind (and sometimes my body) for what will come my way. And though I may not fully understand any scenario until I experience it, I can understand what is happening while it is occurring and perhaps eliminate some fear and have the ability to cope. Pregnancy has often been portrayed to me as a beautiful thing. I often hear women talk about the "glow" and the amazing time they had during their pregnancy. I've been very real about how I feel about pregnancy, and the only thing amazing to me is that my husband and I have created a life; there is a human being living in my body and I can feel her live. She is exactly one half of me and half of my husband and I get to hold her and love her at the end of this journey. The other parts of pregnancy can take a long walk off a short pier (except the luxurious hair...I'll keep that). I can't say that I've been surprised by anything that has happened to my body because I researched and asked about it. I asked for the ugly truth and I was thankful that I got it. The one thing that I did underestimate however, is just how damn tired I would be- both in the first trimester, and in this last month. In preparing for labor, I have been doing more reading of course, but I received a piece of information that makes me smile right now as I'm writing this. One of my very "real" dance moms said to me the other day, "Can I tell you something?" I said of course. She said, "You are going to feel like your dying, but your not. The pain is like nothing you have felt and you will think you are dying but you won't". Perfection must be that woman's middle name because I needed to hear that. That was her reality, and she was kind enough to share it in a very raw and real way with no sugar coating on top.

My 36 week appointment was a quick in and out visit. They had to do the swab for Streptococcus B and I thought he may check me to see if things were progressing at all down there...but no, he said next week. When my doctor entered the room he asked how I was doing and I said "I'm very pregnant". He chuckled and said "Well that's a good thing". I laid down so he could measure my fundus (curvature of my stomach) and he said "Whoa! You really are pregnant!" And then it was my turn to laugh. Baby's heartbeat was perfect, I still am weighing in at 24 lbs gained and my blood pressure was normal. I've been feeling like my period is going to start between once and twice a day, a few Braxton Hicks here and there, and some round ligament pain in my side. Otherwise, I feel just fine. My husband is installing the car seat this weekend, and I ordered the last bits of important things (baby swing, breast pump). I am just looking for curtains I like. Tomorrow I will visit another pediatrician since the first one was a big NO for both of us. My hospital bag is almost completely packed. Can I just say that I miss work. Not many of us are blessed to have a job we love- but I love mine and I have been putting in a few hours here and there, but I miss my real schedule. I miss dancing without physical limitations. And those who think I'm crazy for not wanting to take copious amounts of time off, yes I may be crazy in your eyes but my reality is that I love what I do and I can do anything- even with a baby strapped to my chest.
Have a great week everyone! xo-JV