Doctor appointment Numero Uno

I am a mixed bag of feelings today. Sometimes being logical and a realist is no fun at all. Just for today I want to live in the fantasy world where everything will be just fine. The doctor won't have any concerns, I'll see my child alive and well in my belly and go on my merry way happy and excited. Truth is, I'm scared! The scenario that plays out in my head is that while my doctor is talking to me, he seems concerned about my Thalassemia (Thalassemia is a blood disorder passed down through families (inherited) in which the body makes an abnormal form of hemoglobin, the protein in red blood cells that carries oxygen. The disorder results in excessive destruction of red blood cells, which leads to anemia. from Medlineplus.com), or they turn on that ultrasound and there is nothing...no heartbeat, no life, no little one. I'm really trying to be optimistic but at the same time trying to prepare myself for anything. This is a crazy vicious cycle I've put myself through ever since I was in a horrible relationship with an alcoholic; a mentally abusive, toxic relationship. It taught me to be ready for anything. Actually it taught me to be ready for the worst, because typically that was what I was getting. I learned a lot from that experience, and it made me tough but just for today I don't want to be that person.

Since week 10 started on Friday (Valentines Day), nothing exciting to report. Nausea here and there, fatigue- you know the normal stuff. My belly is getting puffy. I read that this is more from my bowels than the baby- but hey..it's still puffy. I've had some cramps, not so much in my uterus more in my stomach itself- my guess is from the ongoing expansion (sounds like a construction site). My hair is looking phenomenal! Normally a fine and limp, now feels a little thicker and seems to be growing back out nicely (a definite perk of pregnancy). So as long as everything goes okay today, we will be making our announcement tonight to everyone. My husband is ecstatic, I only wish we could celebrate this together. Our good friend Nino and his girlfriend, Jackie (coincidentally) seem to be on the same week as us----can't wait to tell them too ;)

Ok happy thoughts! You will see this all soon enough!
xo_JV



******As you all may know by now- Everything is great and the baby looks good. I am actually 11 weeks and not 10! Thanks for reading ;) xo