I just realized how busy I have been in the past two weeks when I saw that my last post was about week 14. Today marks week 17 and all is well in Baby Land. A lot of my dancers and their parents have been asking if I'm going to or if I have already found out the sex of the baby... The answer is no, I haven't found out yet, and yes we will definitely be finding out. I like to plan everything. I even tried to plan this pregnancy to the month, however my efforts were thwarted by higher powers. I think He likes to keep me in check; just reminds me that I can't always be in control. Trust me I know, but that doesn't mean I won't try. The past few weeks have been spent getting ready for our first dance competition of the season. Rehearsals, sewing, stoning, gluing, more rehearsals, shopping for props, makeup, etc. And here I am sitting in the hotel room waiting for the clock to strike 10pm so I can allow my body to get the sleep it's asking for. I would have to say that the hardest part of traveling while pregnant is not knowing if the bed is going to allow you to have a decent night of sleep and (while at competitions) the constant urge to have to pee while watching and waiting. Waiting.... there is so much of that here. I spoke to my husband earlier today and told him that competitions are a lot of "Hurry up and wait". You frantically rush to get everything you need for this event, rush to get your dancers ready and on stage at the right time, and in just over 2 minutes it's all over. You then sit and wait, sometimes for hours to hear the results of the competition. And each time you do this (especially if you have multiple dances in one day as we do tomorrow), you have a big adrenaline dump while you are sitting and waiting and then again after awards... over and over again.
You eat bad food and have the potential to be sick by the time the weekend is over because there are so many people and your body is clearly exhausted.
Alright enough about that, you want to know about the baby. Last week was my doctors appointment. I thought I was going to have an ultrasound and perhaps find out the sex of the baby. My husband happened to take the day off and my stepdaughter was on Spring Break so we all went in together. Well we were both disappointed when my nurse told us we were just going to hear the heartbeat that day. The look on my husband's face was so disappointing and also (I believe) a little bit of blame. I explained that when they tell me when my next appointment is, they don't tell me what is going to go on. I assumed that this was the next step, and unfortunately it wasn't. It was great to hear the baby's heartbeat at 160 and to know that I gained 2 pounds since this whole thing started....I lost 5 at the beginning. April 22nd is THE day! They will do bone measurements and find out the sex of the baby. My blood pressure is low 105/53, and yes this is normal for me. I haven't had any cravings and I am finally REALLY showing. Coconut Oil everyday! Every morning I wake up stuffy, and it's allergy season to top it off. The other night I got up to go to the bathroom and felt the baby move when I layed back down. It was very cool. All in all I feel great. I think my body is looking a little bit alien like right now, and my husband is being awesome to his preggo wife ;)
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Week 14: The body beautiful
I'm writing this while laying on the couch with the button of my jeans popped open. I've finally hit that point where I can still fit in my pre pregnancy jeans but they are just uncomfortable enough to make modifications. While reading some Mommy Blog somewhere in cyber space over the past few weeks, I saw this belly band advertised that would allow your top button to be open, but it would still hold up your pants- kinda looks like you have layered shirts on. I thought this was an amazing thing and would help to stretch out my time to NOT wear maternity clothes. Today I went shopping at the Outlets with my Mom and took my very first step into a Maternity store. I was hoping to find these belly bands and not really to look at anything else, but my Mama had other ideas. She pointed out maternity capris and shorts and cute shirts, all to which I thought "ugghhhhhh". Why the adverse reaction to preggo clothes you ask; let me explain:
Since the ripe old age of 2 I began to dance. Tap and Jazz were always my passions and still are to this day. But anyone who knows anything about dance understands that ballet is the foundation of it all. I never fell in love with it because I didn't fit the "type". I was always very tall and never what you would call petite, which is exactly what those ballet dancers were. Sleek, svelte, petite little beings who fluttered across the stage with their tiny frames. I always carried a little extra weight in my pre teens and teens. Nothing much but enough meat to fill out my already large frame. In high school I was one of the tallest on the team, which leads you to always being placed in the back. I had boobs and a butt to match it all and I didn't come to love my body until I was in my early 20s. It was then that I understood that having thick thighs and not being skin and bones was an amazing thing. I have always strived to stay in shape and of course would diet and over exercise hoping to achieve perfection. I've always been body conscious and everyone from my Mom to my Husband could not understand my obsession. Dance has done many things for me, but it also made me hyper aware of what I look like day in and day out. I was still a dancer myself when I started teaching at the age of 16. I would spend hours in the studio, on the field, performing week in and week out. And now as a career, I do much of the same. I am the example, I am what the dancers see. My level of fitness and confidence is what they will want to achieve or even surpass for themselves. Dancers spend the majority of their time looking in the mirror, constantly comparing or adjusting their movement to other bodies in the room. Unfortunately it is why so many dancers end up with eating disorders. There is always someone better, thinner, someone who can jump higher and turn faster and we rationalize that it is because they are lighter. Is it the truth? No of course not, but that's what goes through our heads.
I knew that getting pregnant would forever change my body, and of course I hope and pray that it will come back to what it was and able to do the things it did just 10 months before. I still can't help but fight it- fight the fact that my top button on my favorite jeans must remain open if I have to sit down, the fact that I am slathering copious amounts of organic coconut oil all over my stomach, back and boobs to prevent stretch marks, and that I really don't want to buy stupid looking maternity jeans with the elastic waist. I'm going to do it, but I don't have to like it! I came out of the maternity store today with exactly what I wanted- the belly bands. My only excitement was that they were on sale and had different colors. I'm creating a tiny human in my belly which is an amazing thought and from a scientific perspective, really intriguing when you think about how rapidly it forms. I always hear that mothers make incredible sacrifices for their children. Maternity store shopping is a sacrifice for this Momma!
P.S. I feel great this week- Eating well, no vomiting, I still hate bodily fluids from my animals, I can no longer smell their wet food without gagging, and I had a great prenatal massage this week.
xo-JV
Since the ripe old age of 2 I began to dance. Tap and Jazz were always my passions and still are to this day. But anyone who knows anything about dance understands that ballet is the foundation of it all. I never fell in love with it because I didn't fit the "type". I was always very tall and never what you would call petite, which is exactly what those ballet dancers were. Sleek, svelte, petite little beings who fluttered across the stage with their tiny frames. I always carried a little extra weight in my pre teens and teens. Nothing much but enough meat to fill out my already large frame. In high school I was one of the tallest on the team, which leads you to always being placed in the back. I had boobs and a butt to match it all and I didn't come to love my body until I was in my early 20s. It was then that I understood that having thick thighs and not being skin and bones was an amazing thing. I have always strived to stay in shape and of course would diet and over exercise hoping to achieve perfection. I've always been body conscious and everyone from my Mom to my Husband could not understand my obsession. Dance has done many things for me, but it also made me hyper aware of what I look like day in and day out. I was still a dancer myself when I started teaching at the age of 16. I would spend hours in the studio, on the field, performing week in and week out. And now as a career, I do much of the same. I am the example, I am what the dancers see. My level of fitness and confidence is what they will want to achieve or even surpass for themselves. Dancers spend the majority of their time looking in the mirror, constantly comparing or adjusting their movement to other bodies in the room. Unfortunately it is why so many dancers end up with eating disorders. There is always someone better, thinner, someone who can jump higher and turn faster and we rationalize that it is because they are lighter. Is it the truth? No of course not, but that's what goes through our heads.
I knew that getting pregnant would forever change my body, and of course I hope and pray that it will come back to what it was and able to do the things it did just 10 months before. I still can't help but fight it- fight the fact that my top button on my favorite jeans must remain open if I have to sit down, the fact that I am slathering copious amounts of organic coconut oil all over my stomach, back and boobs to prevent stretch marks, and that I really don't want to buy stupid looking maternity jeans with the elastic waist. I'm going to do it, but I don't have to like it! I came out of the maternity store today with exactly what I wanted- the belly bands. My only excitement was that they were on sale and had different colors. I'm creating a tiny human in my belly which is an amazing thought and from a scientific perspective, really intriguing when you think about how rapidly it forms. I always hear that mothers make incredible sacrifices for their children. Maternity store shopping is a sacrifice for this Momma!
P.S. I feel great this week- Eating well, no vomiting, I still hate bodily fluids from my animals, I can no longer smell their wet food without gagging, and I had a great prenatal massage this week.
xo-JV
Monday, March 3, 2014
The Second Trimester: Days 1-3
I am a knowledge junkie. If I hear about something and I don't know who/what/where it is, you can bet that I will be Googling it sometime in the near future. I have been this way for as long as I remember and I am this way with my pregnancy. Almost all women I have spoken to about my pregnancy have told me about feeling their best in the second trimester. You can bet that I read about it as well. In the past week I have been riddled with horrible morning sickness and vomiting. Earlier in the week I even had a migraine which is unusual because I have not touched any of my triggers leading me to believe it was hormonally induced. I have been anticipating today, the beginning of the second trimester. I was expecting rainbows and ice cream sundaes, but instead got more nausea and the worst back/side pain I have ever felt. I made my way through work by making sure that I ate frequently so that the nausea would keep at bay, and by the end of my 5 hour teaching day I was exhausted. I had plans to take my Mom to dinner for her birthday and knew that I needed to make it a few more hours on my feet. All day I had a nagging pain that would come and go in my right side, but then it hit me. Like daggers in between my ribs (in my back), I had no idea what was going on. I thought of the possibilities; over stretch, kidney infection, and because the pain traveled to the front at times, appendicitis. GOOGLE came up with many posts by women who experienced the same pain due to the shifting of organs, expansion of the rib cage and round ligament pain. I was shopping in Pier One before my Mom's dinner and almost had to sit down out of sheer uncomfortableness. I couldn't take it anymore so I left the store and tried to relax in the car for a while before dinner. What a miserable pain to deal with.
After dinner I came home and laid in bed and by the next morning all the pain was gone. BUT I felt bigger than I did previously. In fact I went to my parents house for dinner Sunday night and my Dad said "WHOA! You got so big in a week". I can always rely on him to tell me the truth. So I believe those horrible pains were just my body's way of making more room for baby. No nausea all day Sunday and Today (Monday) I woke up and even ate an egg for breakfast! That's huge news for me. Before I was pregnant I would have an egg at least 3 times a week for breakfast. Since getting pregnant, the idea of it is so nauseating that I usually just eat a bagel or some dry cereal. I at an egg, toast, and slice of cheese for breakfast- no nausea, no vomiting---could this turn out to be rainbows and butterflies after all ?? Let's not jinx it ;)
Have an amazing Monday! I'm pretty sure I will! xo
After dinner I came home and laid in bed and by the next morning all the pain was gone. BUT I felt bigger than I did previously. In fact I went to my parents house for dinner Sunday night and my Dad said "WHOA! You got so big in a week". I can always rely on him to tell me the truth. So I believe those horrible pains were just my body's way of making more room for baby. No nausea all day Sunday and Today (Monday) I woke up and even ate an egg for breakfast! That's huge news for me. Before I was pregnant I would have an egg at least 3 times a week for breakfast. Since getting pregnant, the idea of it is so nauseating that I usually just eat a bagel or some dry cereal. I at an egg, toast, and slice of cheese for breakfast- no nausea, no vomiting---could this turn out to be rainbows and butterflies after all ?? Let's not jinx it ;)
Have an amazing Monday! I'm pretty sure I will! xo
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Monday, February 24, 2014
Week 12 Ultrasound Day!
The final days of week 11 were a little rough with some morning sickness and lack of appetite. But yesterday (Sunday) I felt like the normal me. I had energy, I wasn't tired, I wanted to eat and more importantly I got the house clean. No it's not nesting. Cleaning is a normal part of my weekly regiment. But since getting pregnant I haven't had the energy to do much else than go to work and come home and lay down. Today was the Ultrasound that checked for any abnormalities, Down Syndrome and take measurements of the baby. It was magical! He/she was asleep for the entire time, funny enough with it's hand on it's head (just the way my husband sleeps... elbows out!). I had to cough a few times to wake that baby up so the ultrasound tech could continue the exam. Once the baby woke up, it was kicking its legs and rolling side to side and lord only knows what it was doing with those hands! It was absolutely breathtaking to watch. It was especially interesting because with all that movement, I didn't feel one single thing. I fondly refer to the baby as my dancing baby. With all that movement, I wonder if I will ever get sleep when it is big enough for me to feel it's movements. My doctor was in surgery so I did not get to meet with him and was told he would called me. I'm anxious to know if all my blood work came back normal or not.
I think I may have over done it in dance tonight. On the way out the door I was dizzy and seeing spots..... It was reminiscent of the beginning of a migraine without the huge headache. Though I do have one a small headache at the moment. Hopefully after I eat it will subside. I am so grateful to have gotten a glimpse at my little one today. What a blessing. xo
I think I may have over done it in dance tonight. On the way out the door I was dizzy and seeing spots..... It was reminiscent of the beginning of a migraine without the huge headache. Though I do have one a small headache at the moment. Hopefully after I eat it will subside. I am so grateful to have gotten a glimpse at my little one today. What a blessing. xo
Thursday, February 20, 2014
The end of Week 11
I'm seriously pregnant. It's real. The ultrasound made it very real to me; seeing that flashing (beating) heart on the ultrasound machine made everything come true. My visit to the doctors on Tuesday was great. They took like 5 vials of blood, did the normal pap stuff, and talked to me about any questions I had. My doctor has been my gyno for 15 years and has had the same nurse for that long so they know me, and that is comforting. What is also comforting is that this guy is a straight shooter. Some may see this as not having a good bedside manner, but I see this as someone who won't sugar coat the bad stuff and will just tell me what I need to hear and not fluff. I like that. I need that kind of person. If something isn't going to go right, or its going to hurt badly- I need to know; I don't want to hear "everything will be fine". Let me decide that.
Telling our friends and families has been both amazing and exhausting. Both of my husband's sisters called yelling and crying and barely able to form sentences. It was hilarious. The congratulations keep on rolling in and the Facebook comments are honestly just too much to read. I am super appreciative to hear how many people love and support our family. My favorite thing so far has been telling my dance families, especially my younger dancers. They ask questions about the sex of the baby, what I would like to have, what I will name it and my favorite so far, "well when you have a baby, who will teach us?". After I explain that I will have a substitute for just a little while, their faces cheer up, understanding that I will be back. Another great comment I keep receiving after I say there is a baby in my belly is, "But you are still skinny". LOL. I then smooth down my shirt and let them see that there is a small baby bump there and explain that my baby is smaller than an apple right now. I still have more students and parents to tell, but I am so happy that the cat is out of the bag because I don't have to hide my little bump anymore and look like the fat dance teacher (yes we have image problems, we stand in front of the mirror more hours than anyone else in the world- wouldn't you be critical of your body if looking at yourself in the mirror was part of your job? Lol).
I have another Ultrasound on Monday and I think maybe even more blood tests. If you are reading this in Florida- I hope you are enjoying the weather as much as I am. As for the rest of you, I'm sorry. :) Have a glorious Day! xo
Telling our friends and families has been both amazing and exhausting. Both of my husband's sisters called yelling and crying and barely able to form sentences. It was hilarious. The congratulations keep on rolling in and the Facebook comments are honestly just too much to read. I am super appreciative to hear how many people love and support our family. My favorite thing so far has been telling my dance families, especially my younger dancers. They ask questions about the sex of the baby, what I would like to have, what I will name it and my favorite so far, "well when you have a baby, who will teach us?". After I explain that I will have a substitute for just a little while, their faces cheer up, understanding that I will be back. Another great comment I keep receiving after I say there is a baby in my belly is, "But you are still skinny". LOL. I then smooth down my shirt and let them see that there is a small baby bump there and explain that my baby is smaller than an apple right now. I still have more students and parents to tell, but I am so happy that the cat is out of the bag because I don't have to hide my little bump anymore and look like the fat dance teacher (yes we have image problems, we stand in front of the mirror more hours than anyone else in the world- wouldn't you be critical of your body if looking at yourself in the mirror was part of your job? Lol).
I have another Ultrasound on Monday and I think maybe even more blood tests. If you are reading this in Florida- I hope you are enjoying the weather as much as I am. As for the rest of you, I'm sorry. :) Have a glorious Day! xo
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Doctor appointment Numero Uno
I am a mixed bag of feelings today. Sometimes being logical and a realist is no fun at all. Just for today I want to live in the fantasy world where everything will be just fine. The doctor won't have any concerns, I'll see my child alive and well in my belly and go on my merry way happy and excited. Truth is, I'm scared! The scenario that plays out in my head is that while my doctor is talking to me, he seems concerned about my Thalassemia (Thalassemia is a blood disorder passed down through families (inherited) in which the body makes an abnormal form of hemoglobin,
the protein in red blood cells that carries oxygen. The disorder
results in excessive destruction of red blood cells, which leads to
anemia. from Medlineplus.com), or they turn on that ultrasound and there is nothing...no heartbeat, no life, no little one. I'm really trying to be optimistic but at the same time trying to prepare myself for anything. This is a crazy vicious cycle I've put myself through ever since I was in a horrible relationship with an alcoholic; a mentally abusive, toxic relationship. It taught me to be ready for anything. Actually it taught me to be ready for the worst, because typically that was what I was getting. I learned a lot from that experience, and it made me tough but just for today I don't want to be that person.
Since week 10 started on Friday (Valentines Day), nothing exciting to report. Nausea here and there, fatigue- you know the normal stuff. My belly is getting puffy. I read that this is more from my bowels than the baby- but hey..it's still puffy. I've had some cramps, not so much in my uterus more in my stomach itself- my guess is from the ongoing expansion (sounds like a construction site). My hair is looking phenomenal! Normally a fine and limp, now feels a little thicker and seems to be growing back out nicely (a definite perk of pregnancy). So as long as everything goes okay today, we will be making our announcement tonight to everyone. My husband is ecstatic, I only wish we could celebrate this together. Our good friend Nino and his girlfriend, Jackie (coincidentally) seem to be on the same week as us----can't wait to tell them too ;)
Ok happy thoughts! You will see this all soon enough!
xo_JV
******As you all may know by now- Everything is great and the baby looks good. I am actually 11 weeks and not 10! Thanks for reading ;) xo
Since week 10 started on Friday (Valentines Day), nothing exciting to report. Nausea here and there, fatigue- you know the normal stuff. My belly is getting puffy. I read that this is more from my bowels than the baby- but hey..it's still puffy. I've had some cramps, not so much in my uterus more in my stomach itself- my guess is from the ongoing expansion (sounds like a construction site). My hair is looking phenomenal! Normally a fine and limp, now feels a little thicker and seems to be growing back out nicely (a definite perk of pregnancy). So as long as everything goes okay today, we will be making our announcement tonight to everyone. My husband is ecstatic, I only wish we could celebrate this together. Our good friend Nino and his girlfriend, Jackie (coincidentally) seem to be on the same week as us----can't wait to tell them too ;)
Ok happy thoughts! You will see this all soon enough!
xo_JV
******As you all may know by now- Everything is great and the baby looks good. I am actually 11 weeks and not 10! Thanks for reading ;) xo
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